What are some funny and smart quotes?

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

Marvel Tōkon Fighting Souls dev Arc System Works has its own ‘direct’ coming - Polygon

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

Why is Trump not on a violation of probation, offering a job for an endorsement is in violation of federal law? Kaamala knew better she is very sharp.

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

I have received a fake legal notice, with unreachable phone number and unidentified address and fake lawyer enrollment number. The notice has caused my family severe stress. I know the person who might have done this illegal act. What should I do?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”